“Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.” Colossians 3:19

The above verse is an edict from God. There are no excuses for violence and abusive behavior. For someone to say. ” I did it because they made me do it,” is a lie from Hell. Seek help and get protection from such a person. If someone is abused mentally, verbally, sexually, or physically it is never their fault, nor is it ever justified. Biblical submission does not include having to take abuse in any form. Ultimately, God is a deliverer.

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Romans 8:14-16

The world is all about control and enslavement, but the Lord is all about deliverance, freedom, and peace. Believe on Him and listen for His guidance. He will deliver you and then He will heal you.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. John 10:10

See also Scriptures On God’s Protection and Scriptures On Fighting the Enemy and Scriptures Against Depression and many more.

The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Psalm 9:9

O Lord, you hear the desire of the afflicted; you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more. Psalm 10:17-18

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. Psalms 23:1

The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit. Psalms 34:18

Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute. Psalm 82:3

He sent His word and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions. Psalms 107:20

Unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain who build it; unless the LORD guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. Psalms 127:1

The LORD upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalms 145:14

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalms 147:3

The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence. Proverbs 10:11

He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength…Those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:29-31

But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed. Isaiah 53:5

In righteousness you shall be established; you shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear; and from terror, for it shall not come near you. Indeed they shall surely assemble, but not because of Me. Whoever assembles against you shall fall for your sake. Isaiah 54:14, 15

…To give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness… Isaiah 61:3

…I will heal your backslidings. Jeremiah 3:22

And this second thing you do. You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.” Malachi 2:13-16

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:4

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a person. But to eat with unwashed hands does not defile anyone.” Matthew 15:18-20

See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven. Matthew 18:10

He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. Matthew 19:8

And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’ Matthew 25:40

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” Luke 4:18-19

…I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Luke 10:19

Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed. John 8:36

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27-28

Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:17-21

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (You can endure but that does not mean you have to – Editor). 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort , who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. II Corinthians 1:3, 4

Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ… II Corinthians 2:14

Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5:19-21

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:29-32

For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, Ephesians 5:29

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Colossians 3:18-21

Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Colossians 3:19

The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? 1 Timothy 3:1-6

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. II Timothy 1:7

But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. 2 Timothy 3:1-8

Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16

…The LORD is my helper; I will not fear… Hebrews 13:6

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. James 1:19-20

If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridles not his own tongue, but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is vain. James 1:26

Out of the same mouth proceeds blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. James 3:10

Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. James 4:7

…Who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose stripes you were healed. 1 Peter 2:24-25

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7 ESV

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I John 1:9

…For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil. I John 3:8-9

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. I John 4:18

Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him. I John 5:14-15


  1. Ladies, I don’t know where in the world you are located – please, if you are feeling unsafe in your relationship, contact your local Police and ask them to refer you to a Womens helpline who specialise in the area of saving women from abuse.

  2. I’ve been hit quite a number of times in my relationship, still in it although It’s hard to see a future now. I know the ship will sink someday.

    But my main problem is the PTSD, it hurts all over when the flashbacks and dreams comes and when I hear him say I deserve it and any other person I ever end up with will do the same to me because I’m crazy and don’t deserve love. ( Never been hit in other relationships)

    I don’t know why I typed this but I don’t have anyone to talk to or money for therapy.

    So I’m using the scriptures, hoping I find peace someday. I know I’ll pull up stronger but for now when I have those PTSD episodes, I just cry my eyes out, feeling so low and worthless.

    I know God is the Author and finisher of my faith and he will heal my mind in due time.

    1. I had to put 1500 miles between my ex and I to get away from the abuse. I said goodbye to my friends but I told no one where I was moving to. I gave myself a fresh start so that I could begin healing. Don’t worry about being in another relationship. You need time to heal and it may take quite a while. Build your relationship with Yahweh first. I was single for 10 years while I worked on my relationship with Yahweh and allowed him to heal me. When you are ready for an intimate relationship let Yahweh bring bring it about. If you are meant to be married Yahweh will work it out in His time. But first, do what you need to do (within reason) and go where you need to go in order for your healing to begin. Be strong and have courage. It won’t be easy but you can do this.

  3. Good morning from here, Pls I need u to help me pray for my mother, she is so abusive and uses derogatory names on us her children, I need God’s mercy, and Pls help me pray for divine interventions in my finances and business, I am lifted by bible passages,, God bless you real good

  4. Hello,
    I ran across this as I was searching for information about what the Bible says about abuse for a upcoming Bible study. My thoughts and prayers are with you all! God wants us to be happy and SAFE!
    I can not relate to being in a abusive relationship because my husband and I have a great Godly marriage. We met when I was 17 yrs old and 11 months later we married. So many said we were to young and it would never last. Almost 21 yrs later and 3 boys later, we are still doing great. Not saying it’s been easy but here we are serving God together and as a family!! I was raised in a abusive family with parents who physically fought. I was beat several times by my alcoholic father. Mom would leave but always came back. I told myself that I would never be in a relationship like that and never allow my children to go through what I did. Trust me we are not prefect but my children have it way better than I did. They have God!! As for my dad, he and mother are still together but it’s a completely different lifestyle now. You see about 1 1/2 yrs after I got married my dad walked into the church I attended, 3 months later he got SAVED!!!! A year or so later he became a deacon of the church. This is not always the outcome so ladies prayer, study, faith are very important in a marriage. Listen to God, He will lead you and give you the answers you need.

    1. Thank you so much for your wisdom,I do need alot of prayer and guidance ,I have no one to really talk to so much pain and aguish ,so dissappointed in myself for allowing this to continue for 20 years and sadly to say Im still in this toxic marriage and the sad thing is he is a Christian and he treats me like this ,My church has failed me many times and even now not in church as I broke away ,friends and family too looks the other way ,I praying for my financial situations to change and to heal completely I do want to leave this marriage .

  5. Please seek help.. God does not want us to be in bondage but to be set free. I’m praying for your strength. But, leave go get help. Check your local health services and get help. Im 42yrs old and I sought help and yes God wants you to forgive him. But grace and mercy is there for you to get out..

  6. Pray for my husband he is vicuting kids and other people also he is brain washing people aninst us Christine’s also pray for my friends we are In trouble and a cult

  7. Dear Friend,
    Please do not think that God is punishing you for marrying an unbeliever.
    It is true that the bible and the Lord instructs us to marry a believer.

    However, I married an abusive believer in Christ (verbal, emotional, and almost physical abuse). He is a man from my church who was in my ministry and attended church 10 years.
    The Lord warned me about him and showed me red flags, but I ignored God and ignored my feelings of discomfort before marrying him.
    I paid the price by being in an abusive marriage, and yet, The Lord delivered me from that abusive situation. The Lord allowed me to experience the consequences of my choices, yet he was never punishing me because Jesus paid the price for my sins 2000 years ago on Calvary. Jesus took our punishment for our sins.

    I never wanted a divorce and I am strongly against divorce, and so I truly believe that my husband broke our marriage covenant by abusing me and putting me in danger, and I had no real choice but to leave for safety reasons.

    I did pray strongly for God to change the situation, and ultimately, I chose to separate and be safe while I prayed for my husband. Then, my safety and my life were a priority SO I filed for divorce. This was a path that I ended up on be disobeying the holy spirit’s warnings. Yet, I believe God still loves me and has grace and mercy for me each day. His mercies are new every morning and God is the reason I survived the heartbreak and the trauma, and the disappointment.

    Some may stay and pray and survive by the grace of God. Some may find that there husband changes.
    Whereas many women die in an abusive marriage, either being killed by an abuser or just dying in their soul.

    Ultimately, we face consequences when we are disobedient to thr Lord, ignore red flags(marrying a violent man) or ignore the bible (marry an unbeliever).
    Yet God is still merciful and you are still the daughter of God, and a merciful God will have mercy on you as his daughter. Seek his guidance! I strongly believe that the Lord hates violence and oppression towards his daughters.
    Only you know if you have the grace to withstand unnecessary oppression!

    Remember there is Mercy and Grace for you IN Jesus name. If you are in an unsafe situation, please get to safety, call the domestic violence hotline, or call the police. Then when you are safe, you can really pray and intercede and hear what God instructs you to do.

    Your sister in Christ

  8. No Dee God doesn’t want you to be in a relationship with a non believer. Let me tell you a story about me I was 20 years old when I married my first husband he was an drunk a drug addicted and abuser but I didn’t know it when I met him I did know he drink but i didn’t know how bad it was. So we got married and I had my baby at the age 21 he abused me physically mentally and sexually and cheated on me and a bunch of other things. I left him and before we were married for the year I was getting a divorce then he abuse my baby serval times when he had visitation. And I got that stopped then I married another guy and he claimed to be a preacher and he abused me and I really thought he was the one but again he had put on a false face and tricked me and my family. But we were married for about 12 years this man. So I divorced him and God put a man that was a lot older than me in my life and we will be married this year for 18 years and we have a great ministry together. But no God will not judge you if you get out of this marriage cause no woman needs to be abused by a man and I’m trying to get my ministry together on helping women that has been or still is in a abusive relationships where if they need prayer or just someone that has been there to call or text me they can. I will be praying for you sister. God bless❤️??

  9. After praying for 23 yrs for a Christian man to be my husband I thought I met the man God had for me. He knew the word and always wanted to read it with me and to pray. But after a month I saw red flags. I met him on a Christian dating site called Christian Cupid and him and I video chatted constantly and talked on the phone everyday just about for hours. But then he would video chat with me on his way to the store or church and so he would ask me to do the same and thinking I should because he so “generously did with me without the asking. But after about 3 weeks of talking with him he wanted me on the phone or video chat about 5 hours a day. It seemed like every time I turned around he wanted more and more of my time. In 2 and a half months he wanted to marry me and flew from out of state at my expense and I felt so happy and thought it was an answered prayer as him & I stood on the word of God in all these things. He moved by me and then he confessed he had anger issues stemming from his father abusing his mother. I led him in a deliverance of this generational curse because I know the power of Christ. So after all this he seemed real happy until a week later he acted real strange and then his true colors came to the forefront as I was secretly praying for God to expose all the spirits operating in him so I can know for sure whether to marry him. But then he started talking non stop everyday all day. I felt like he was in my head all the time then he started abusing me verbally, emotionally and even once physically . He made a public spectical and I wouldn’t let him in my home as he stood on my front porch demanding that I leave him in. But before he came to my house that day I was scared and put all his stuff out on back porch and he called the police on me for all my neibors to see and he made up story to police that I punched him in the ribs. Well I just prayed to God to get this guy outta my life please and give me a way of escape from this situation. And God answered me and the police escorted this guy to the greyhound bus station to leave back to the state he came from. Now I need to heal from all of this and I looked up encouraging scriptures to heal from abuse. Thank you for this site and the word of God you provided on this page. It is right on and is comforting and healing to me.

    1. Your story Is almost similar to mine. I been knowing this guy for twenty years yet never thought we would be dating. Two weeks he was a gentleman. Eleven months later he is the devil himself now along with his family. Eleven months of emotional, physical, spiritual and physical abuse along with tearing down my self esteem and the feeling of slowing loosibv everything I had when I started dating him. I have never met a person that could do and be so evil. He started off as the sweet person and ended up being the devil himself. This is no way to live and no way to treat a person. I’ve never felt so sad in my life. Please prway my strength and healing. Thank you.

  10. I am reading these comments while hiding in my basement from my husband. I am in somewhat of a stunned shock. I never thought this would be my life at 41 years old. Yesterday my husband physically attacked me for the first time- after 6 years of marriage. There were incidents that began happening within the first few weeks of our marriage, but yesterday was the first time he physically attacked me. Only once did I call the police , but he was VERY angry about that – to the point where I don’t think I would call 911 again. I thought he was going to kill me yesterday. He had a terrible look in his eyes while he was attacking me. He blocked the door I was trying to escape out of, but eventually I was able to run out through another exit. We have not spoken since. I have been hiding out in the basement and backyard ever since. I am afraid to go back into the house right now. He always calls me names … just some here: “you f*cking bitch” , “you f*cking c*nt”, also he calls me stupid and once called me a “dried up old woman”(I was 36 years old at the time). My health has become a big issue. We do not have health insurance, but sometimes I think I must have some kind of disease because of my overwhelming and constant fatigue. I am a believer but he is not. I know I committed a sin by marrying a non believer and now I am suffering the consequences of that sin. I have no one to talk to. I am in despair. My Christian faith confuses me. Does God want me to forgive this man and keep trying to be a good wife to him? That’s the direction the Word seems to point in. The abuse is and has been getting progressively worse. I am so thankful we do not have children. He has attacked our pets before in one of these fits. Also, I often read about how these men are usually very apologetic but my husband does not apologize afterwards. Things slowly just go back to “normal” after a long period of not talking … until it happens again.

    1. Dear Sister I pray that the Lord continues to protect you and keep you lifted up. I too am your age and have been married the exact length of time as you. I encourage you to prayerfully seek help in your local area. If you are not sure where to start check out the site for national domestic violence. You can chat online by phone if possible. I presently staying at a local DV shelter…while it’s the absolute last resort-it’s better than living with a crazed abuser. The Lord cares about your well being and there are resources available to help women like us. Please stay safe and exercise wisdom and caution. May all be well with you in Jesus’ name.

    2. Just my personal opinion…
      DON’T WALK…RUN! Sounds like you married a psychopath or sociopath at the least. Please research both “psychopath” and “sociopath” online or at the library. That research WILL give you your answers. YOU ARE NOT “LOSING YOUR MIND”…HIS MIND IS NOT WHOLE & HEALTHY.
      Praying for you (and him),
      Your Sister in Christ,

    3. I hope u got out as I read your story this man had a murderous spirit on him. God wants u out. Dont let the devil twist scripture. U can pray for him when ur safe and healed. Satan send him to destroy you. God is love and he doesn’t want u to be in such an environment. Its effecting your health. It’s the abuse it’s like poison. I have also dealt with that. But after he was removed God started restoring my health. Your body is responding to the abuse

  11. I have been in an abusive relationship for 4years. He abuses me physically, mentally and emotionally. He tells me what to wear and he doesn’t let me keep friend he says all my friends are prostitute and he calls me a prostitute too. A day does not pass by without him reminding me how cheap, stupid, worthless and how much of a prostitute i am. He doesn’t let me see my family he doesn’t let me go out of the house and I always take permission from him before I leave the house and sometimes he will tell me not to go. He Beats me mercilessly at any slight of provocation, he beats me in public and insults my family. He would beat me and blame me even if he is at fault, there was a day a girl called him and he beat me up mercilessly for it. I have tried to leave the relationship severally but he came back begging that he has changed.

  12. I am struggling with the thought or even accepting the idea of the abusive situation I am in.
    It is to the point that there is an argument when I want to go to church, and my husband will ask why I need to go be at church to have a relationship with God. Followed by I should be able to have a relationship in my husband’s presence – at home.
    I was active in church, and felt empowered and felt how the Lord was directing and leading me. After we became married, it changed. He is emotionally and mentally abusive, and it cycles from ‘I am sorry’ back to arguments, acussations, and I feel like I am doing wrong. That I am not being a wife, and question if I am fulfilling my duties as a proper wife. I am not perfect.
    He has physically attacked me, though that is rare. I am always drawn to forgiveness.
    I believe that God will provide, but it is hard to hold on when the person between me and Him is the person that is supposed to help strengthen the presence of God’s love in our home?

  13. Thank you for all the stories being shared…

    I pray god sheds light upon my situation and pulls me away from the abuse


  14. I’m praying for you sister. That the love of Jesus would fill your heart and life. That you have strength to stand. There are people our there that would help you. We weren’t created to be someone’s punching bag. I pray that God’s perfect will be done in your life, that God will be your avenger, your defense. That He will restore all that has been taken from you. Give you a new life, a new name. Remember you are a daughter of the King of Kings.
    Stand tall with no fear! Claim the victory! Stand on the promises of God!
    I too was once in a relationship as this, thank the Lord he took me out.
    It really does something to your mind. I sought help and became strong enough to leave. I made it, I raised my children and I did it with the help of the Lord. Don’t lose hope. All my love to you! God bless!

  15. Get out now. Love isn’t controlling or painful. Perhaps spend some time getting to know yourself better through church small groups and counseling? Looking back, I wish I had honored some of the red flags….small as they seem….in order to spare my child and myself from this black hole.

  16. Thanks everyone for sharing your stories of abuse. I was in an abusive marriage for 8 years. I was physically, verbally and mentally abused by my husband who had serious anger issuses. Daily I would pray to God for his deliverance and for my young daughter’s and my safety. Like most abusive relationships he would threaten to take all the money and leave me with nothing. He would also tell me that I was nothing a nobody and would not be able to make it on my own. And the worst was if I would leave he would take my life!!!! But God!!!!! I can say today that through much prayer and seeking God’s face I have been delivered from this abusive marriage for 3 years and life could not be any better. Yes he has been arrested several times in our marriage and bonded out. I had 2 restraining orders on him and his family helped him get out of them!!! But when God said enough is enough He stepped in and freed me and my daughter from this violent man!!! Just like God freed me I believe that he can do the same for others who feel trapped in an abusvie relationship. You can These scriptures to help you on your journey: Proverbs 22:24-25, Colssians 3:19 and I Peter 3:7. My prayer is that God would bless and keep you safe from all harm.

    1. Oh, Dee…your story I sent so similar to mine. I have an abusive ex and abusive ex in.aws; however, I’m still awaiting deliverance for my son and I. My ex has been abusive and neglectful of both me and my son since the beginning. I’ve shielded my son from thinking badly of his father to protect him but my son is hurting too and doesn’t understand the discord. My ex has also been arrested and incarcerated multiple times but his family continues to support him, bail him out, cover for him, hire attorneys etc. and now, they are verbally harassing me again…now that my ex is claiming sobriety. God has not elected to rescue us wholly at this point and I am striving to faithfully commit my pain, humiliation etc. to the god of justice and the impossible. I have my moments of anger at god but know he is the answer to this and every question. I feel at the end (again). My ex and his parents have threatened to destroy me….and my faith is fragile but I continue to hope, pray and wait for deliverance and redemption. Laura

  17. I have been in a abusive relationship for 2 years. I have been sexually, verbally, and physcially abused throughout my life. Abuse from family, and from childhood even from partners. Even till this day the man I am with now is abusive. Now dont get me wrong he helped me numerous of times and I did make a couple of mistakes by cheating. But it gives no right for him to abuse me. The pain I indure from a man i so called love hurts more then a stabbing in the heart what it fills like. This bible post saved me today. I am in a better place because i am starting to understand I have to put it in Gods hands. I know you are thinking just leave him call the police. Well this man Would get bonded out and come for me. He knows my everything even my ss number. He threats to get fired from work. Crash my car which he drops me off to work even threats to make me lose myjob. I want to write abook about my story so woman out here can know they are not alone. Please pray for me. Dont worry about me god will protect me for this i shed tears of joy.

  18. Thank you for this. As a Christian I constantly struggled with forgiveness of a family who overlooked and then blamed me for attempted abuse of me by my older brother. Luckily something (probably God/angels) protected me from any severe abuse at the time and I later told him to ‘get lost’ to prevent further abuse that he tried again when older. I told no one for years, such is the psychological workings on abuse. If I kept my mouth shut and didn’t speak the truth, I was accepted in the family. If I choose to speak the truth, I was gas-lighted and made to feel as if there was something wrong with me. Still now, all these years later, sister sides with him and both parents are now passed. Other family has little to do with me, probably because of the things she must have told them to stop me speaking the truth but still acts as though she is just being loving and that I am being stubborn or something.

    The best I have got to is to think that evil worked through them and then they did not want to admit the truth to themselves – it was easier to use me as a scapegoat. I have managed to be ‘willing to forgive’ and just held the whole sorry situation up to the Lord.

    I learned big lessons about standing alone – or rather standing alone with God and being ‘unpopular’ for merely speaking the truth. I have a fierce protection of others and a heightened sense of ‘injustice’ – I often also know when people are lying…hypervigilance and a ‘service’ and ‘over responsible’ attitude -which surely is great for my profession – God has made me into a great warrior for others but at a cost to my personal life – all seems about work and service really

    ‘Forgiveness’ often preached to survivors does surely not excuse individual choice and human responsibility.

    1. Author

      Claire – I stand with and for you. I know it has been a long road. Most abusive things are long, lonely, and personal. They are terrible. It is hard to forgive, especially when it is still ongoing in denial, but we must. I assume you have read the great book on forgiveness – Total Forgiveness by R.T. Kendall. It is outstanding.

      We love you. God loves you and He loves the ones in your family. This is a real world with real issues and real people. However, the next world will be even more real, and it will have no sin and no pain. And, it will last forever! Heaven is every Christian’s eternal reward. It will make up for any and all loss here on earth. If you haven’t read the classic book on Heaven ‘Intra Muros’ as yet please do. You may really enjoy it. Do a search for it on our site; we have a file of it. Rex

  19. Thank you for the encouragement. Such a controversial topic that is misunderstood by church leaders and members.

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